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Mr. Paulson: A Note From A Friend

May 03

Me again “Bobbles”. I couldn’t resist. ( Oh yes, and think of the following as a PR interview prior to our big “Indian Strap Match”; apologies to our Aboriginal Brothers and Sisters). I feel so bad for you I thought I should undertake an “intervention” of sorts. So let me get this straight? The Senate National Security Committee accused you of “destroying” Canadians’ faith in their national police service (i.e. the RCMP); and your response was:

“There’s a couple of things destroying the faith that Canadians have and one of those is the irresponsible representation of the facts from within the organization without a definitive, proper hearing to establish that.”

Oh yeah, and one more before we get into our session. You were questioned as to why you would assign an investigator to the CPC fiasco who had his own history of being the subject of harassment complaints. And again I want to ensure I have this right (so I’m giving you the opportunity of a “proper hearing”) your response was: “Who among us is blemish free?”

“Bibbles” as I have previously suggested, re-read your Peel. You are placing “professional loyalty” above your “duty to community”. Over the course of your tenure as Commissioner of the RCMP you have engaged in a litany of attempts to demonstrate to the membership that you are “a members’ Commissioner”; and it has resulted in nothing more than you turning yourself into a “shit magnet” and every other member across the country into a “heat score”. You’re dangerous man, get the f–k out of there before you ruin the institution of the RCMP forever!!

Do you remember another note I sent to you where I was trying to explain to you that the ideal police administrator should be a combination of a business person and an experienced investigator? Sadly amigo, the longer you stay where you are, the clearer it becomes that you are neither. Now, most Canadians just think you are stupid, however I understand that what you are doing is well meaning but entirely out of step with the times. Your responsibility actually lays with the community and this will indirectly result in gaining the members’ respect.

“Bad Boy Bobby” I know you are unable to see yourself at these times, but when you feel that “deer in the headlights” thing coming on…..it’s time to shut your yap. As a psychologist I can tell you exactly what you suffer from, it’s referred to as a “verbal-cranial dis-junction”. In layman’s terms it seems you have an overwhelming tendency to open your “gob-hole” before your brain is in gear.

“Bobby Boy” unfortunately (for you) you have become the gift that keeps on giving. And just think, if YOU hadn’t alienated me I could have been your number one “consiglieri” in these matters; instead, I have become just another “stone in your shoe”. But, and for no charge, and because no one else will, I will bring to your attention just what a “dink” you have become. No one wants to “hang” with you man! Like I said you’ve become a “shit magnet”. For example, who asked you out to lunch today because, for no other reason than, that person genuinely wanted Bob Paulson’s company?

C’mon “Bibbles” my agent is waiting. When will you step into the “square circle” with “Iron Mike”? (I could make you look good, and heaven knows you need it!) I have some “Big Shows” overseas on hold waiting for you to get your bony ass in gear! To say nothing of the anticipation running through the membership across this great nation. (Take a lesson, this is how you work “the stick”! It puts bums in seats, in contrast to that “duh, no I didn’t, yes I did, it was just a joke, I’m outta’ here” stuff!)

For you “Bobbles”, at no extra charge: “THREE THINGS CANNOT LONG BE HIDDEN, THE SUN, THE MOON, AND THE TRUTH”——The Buddha

Dr Mike Webster
Registered Psychologist
#0655

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7 Comments
  1. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet”.

    — Mahatma Gandhi

  2. Anonymous permalink

    Sharing this thought from a friend, I concur with Dr Webster and my friend!
    “This one human being (Paulson), has ultimately brought the ICON of this Country to its knees. Over 30 suicides of members in the past decade…400+ female members suing from harassment, members murdered from lack of equipment/training, hundreds diagnosed with depression…revision of the applicant necessities…the list goes on and on….its time Paulson was fired…give him the boot…get the Hell out…my only dismay…our new Liberal appointed Minister of Public Safety is a “whooooosssss”. Wake the Hell up Goodale…fire this idiot.”

  3. Anonymous permalink

    And now a message from our sponsors as we go to commercial:

    He wibbles and he wobbles but “Bobbles” just doesn’t fall down. Now you too can own your very own special “Bobbles” figurine toy that you can ‘poke’…’push’…’spin around’ and watch as he swings and sways violently back-and-forth into an upright position. Kids will love it, especially on those boring rainy days in the house when there’s nothing to do you can always entertain yourself with your very own trusty “bobbles” figurine toy for just $5.00. But, if you act now, you can have the entire 4-piece commissioner collection set entitled “Fearless Leaders in their Infinite Wisdom Idiot Collection Set” for just $15.00 SAVING YOU $5.00. You get:

    1) The Bob Paulson toy (commercial voice over): “I lied about that driving infraction and speeding ticket. I just made the story up and i’m still scared to fight Mike in a mexican wrestling match”.

    2) The Bill Elliot toy (voice over): “Yeah i know i’m a civilian member who knows nothing about policing, but i’m going to get violent with my senior staff anyways”.

    3) The Bev Busson toy (voice over) “Yeyh, i’m the first woman commissioner (interim that is)….well those 7 months sure went fast. Where are we with that “category of employees” initiative to destroy civilian members lives doing”?

    and last but not least

    4) Giuliano Zaccardelli toy – (voice over) “Hi Guys, just bought a new $10-million dollar Piaggio plane but guess what? They gave me a Yellow ferrari for free with the purchase. Psst….don’t tell anyone…it’s secretly sitting in my home in Italy, well revered by my long-time mafia friends”.

    It’s the gift that just keeps on giving and giving. AND, because we’re so passionate about our product, it doesn’t stop there. We will also provide an additional 4-piece NCO collection set entitled “Mounty Kool-Aid set” which includes:

    1) Constable toy (voice over): “I was thinking about asking for a new gun, but with all the measures senior officers are taking to save money to get a ‘bonus’ should i ask? Or should i get fired”?

    2) Corporal toy (voice over): “Guess i didn’t have to be a life constable in Vancouver”.

    3) Sergeant toy (voice over): “Hmmm….so if i’m ‘in good’ with a senior office, he’ll protect me if i want to engage in sexual harassment against other members”?

    4) Staff Sergeant toy (voice over): “Seems they promoted me into a corner handling make-work projects that constantly fail. I’m guess this is senior managements way of saying they want me to retire”?

    You too can own this additional set for $15.00. You can push, poke, throw and even kick these little figurine toys across the floor and watch them wibble and wobble back into an upright position. BUT WAIT….if you order on the screen in the next 10 minutes we’ll even throw in a free mug (inscription: RCMP – Keep drinking the Kool Aid) for those days you need to buy the bullshit…fill up the mug with Kool Aid and it makes all those thoughts go away….just disappear.

    So act now while supplies last.

    (We now continue back to our regularly scheduled programming):

  4. “The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything”.

    — Albert Einstein

  5. Timber Wolf asked of Snowy Owl, “Why do we tend to avoid responsibility for our mistakes?” The magnificent Owl was pensive for a moment, and then answered, “Because no snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.”

  6. Annonymous permalink

    To Anonymous: I believe you’ve spoken for the majority of the members out there. The ones that are honest, reliable, hard working and simply want all of the wrongs corrected. The Kool-Aid drinkers and White Shirts will carry on as status quo, so they can get their next promotion by stabbing a ‘so called brother in the back. The RCMP needs to be rapidly transformed into what it once used to be. However, as long as that lying POS remains in power it’s going to become the The Royal Communist Police Farce!!

    • Anonymous permalink

      Hello Anonymous,

      I can only speak to what i’ve seen although sure many members have shared the same experiences. I must ask, are you interested in buying the two bobble sets where you get a mug for free? Kidding. Perhaps if i make sales at an international level i could just buy the ArseCMP. While i say it in humor, i can’t think of any other way to change the status quo garbage culture of the force. 50-60 years ago, maybe this place use to uphold the law, but today the management are composed of little fairies that like to wear uniforms, attend public functions where they can let their brass shine, and feel important without producing a functional output or service for the paycheques these inadequate lying cowards make while only mitigating liabilities for themselves at the expense of the NCO ranks (maybe CO ranks too).

      My apologies to the good members, as there are some, but i think the country could save itself nearly 2.5-3 billion dollars a year by disbanding the force. Then again, i have to be careful what i wish for, as our winner of the Cinderella-Disney-Prince-look-a-like-contest Prime Minister Trudeau might decide to take those dollars and give them away just like he did with 2-billion of our dollars to Mumbai courtesy of our Canada Pension Plan. It’s so appreciative to see our sweat equity go out the door courtesy of a drama teacher for a prime minister. Now, try having that conversation as an NCO with a white shirt – speaking against our politicians…oh no! Even when it’s the truth you end up being the bad guy.

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