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The Merits of (Creative) Conflict.

Mar 29

G’day all!! How’s your weather? Cool and crisp here on Vancouver Island. Speaking of cool and crisp….I’m imagining the rest of you were equally as underwhelmed with “Bad Boy Bobby P’s” remarks released by the media (albeit somewhat late, through access to information) as I was, that “a culture of respect has been woven into the RCMP” under his watch. Excuse me, for a moment, while I address my future opponent……(the cage match invite still stands “Bobby-Boy”?). Bobby you can’t seem to catch a break anywhere. Even I am starting to feel sorry for you! C’mon Bobbo, a “mandatory online respectful workplace course”? Did you not ever receive a detention when you were in school? How far did that go to changing your behaviour? Or on the other hand, did it serve to piss little “Bobby” off more, and deepen his feelings of resentment toward the teacher who issued the “mandatory, sit on your hands for an hour after school” punishment? “Local employee advisory committees”? Really? With your new and sweeping powers I would imagine they are issued with a set of stock answers and solutions to problems that will ensure the committee members’ survival. (Kind of like the DSRRs?). I don’t even need to address your point that females make up 1/3 of the Force’s senior executive committee! “Careerists” whether male or female know how to play the game in your exclusive club “Bobbo”. None of them got there by being innovators/reformists on the sexual harassment/abuse issues; they are simply survivors, “retired on the job”, looking to “24 and a day” like many others.

This is the point where I usually turn to the working members of the Force and address them on some issue of interest. Today I will break with tradition and continue to speak with you. You need a friend, and I am willing to be that person, where thousands would not. So here it is “amigo”, take it from one who knows, you need to learn to embrace conflict. The phenomenon is not always destructive; it can be constructive and producing of growth. With regard to destruction, and I have in mind the destructive way you responded to my criticism of the Force; and the effect its’ toxic work environments were having on the health of its’ members. It was quite apparent in your communications with your subordinates out here (“E” Division Grand Poobahs Mr. “Callous”, “Mr. Heartfelt” and their various “yes” persons) that you allowed me to become “a stone in your shoe”; this was not good, as you then let anger at me cloud your judgement and lead you to reckless behaviour. I know you won’t listen to me on this matter, as you have let your failure to touch me in a legitimate manner (to say nothing of my lack of respect for you), anger you; so what I have done is to gather some words from those more learned than I in hopes that you can listen to them dispassionately, and learn. Are you seated comfortably? Do you have “Teddy”? Then let’s begin……..

“Have you learned lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you……..”

–Walt Whitman

“Conflict is the gadfly of thought. It stirs us to observation and memory. It instigates invention. It shocks us out of sheep-like passivity, and sets us at noting and contriving….conflict is a “sine qua non” of reflection and ingenuity.”

–John Dewey

“He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.”

–Edmund Burke

“The best way I know how to defeat an enemy is to make him a friend.”

–Abraham Lincoln

“A soft answer turneth away wrath.”

–The Bible

“If civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships–the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world, at peace.”

–Franklin Delano Roosevelt

So there it is “amigo”; words from those wiser than I. I especially like Sir Edmund Burke’s words don’t you? (And by the way, can’t you just picture me delivering this offer of friendship ,and advice, to you while being interviewed by promoter extraordinaire, Marty Gold, in the build up to our “cage match”? This is how it’s done “amigo”! Once again, give up the “duhh, I just got here and don’t know what’s goin’ on” thing. It doesn’t sell tickets!!! It doesn’t put bums in seats!!!)

P.S. It just occurred to me…….maybe “Mr. Callous” (or the now retired “Mr. Heartfelt”) would like to be your partner(s) and we could triple our pleasure with a match in the cage? I’ll even entertain what used to be referred to as an “Indian Strap” match….however to show proper respect for your Aboriginal members, we could use the latter term. (You were likely around, the Pacific North West, when Steven Little Bear and I had some epic conflicts under these conditions). I will reserve the announcement of my partners (a promotional gimmick….you’ll love who I have lined up!) until we sit down to sign the necessary papers prior to the match. Talk about “bums in seats”! Are you getting an idea of the creativity it takes to get people’s attention? Especially when they have fallen asleep in their saddles as they “march west”! And all of this out of my interest in rekindling your image from the most inept “Commissionnaire” in the history of the RCMP, to a man who simply was in over his head.

Dr. Mike Webster
Registered Psychologist

  1. Anonymous permalink

    Last time I did the commentating for the fight of the century I had bob wrestling a Mexican midget….as a preparatory warm up fight. Yet we’re still trying to sell the “iron Mike vs. Bobble bobby” match? I wonder if it’s because bob can’t reach the talent level beyond “bum fights volume 5.0”? Well irregardless, the state of mind for a fighter is important and realizing it’s just you and your opponent. I’m sure a culture of respect has been woven into his extra tight golden wrestling trunks, of which he farts through the ass of repeatedly. At bob’s age, you got to be careful, as that next fart might end up being a shard, and give Mike the mistaken impression that you’re scared “shitless” of him, when in fact you just had an accident. So bob you get caught between standing there in “dire need” of a fresh pair of unsharded wrestling trunks, and having to convince Mike you’re not scared shitless of him – let the creative conflict begin.

  2. Scottish Soldier permalink

    Oh Booby P., you were so misbehaved during those detentions at L.R.H.S. Even the lads and lassies from Lost River and Kilmar could not believe how vile you were!

  3. EFAMIA permalink

    Heated email exchange over harassment on the force landed RCMP head with bullying charge

  4. EFAMIA permalink

    RCMP dogged by second class-action lawsuit alleging rampant sexual harassment

  5. EFAMIA permalink

    Mounties have moved on from harassment and bullying says RCMP boss
    RCMP Commissioner Bob Paulson says things have got better, a month after Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale expressed dismay over allegations of sexual harassment

  6. Late one evening after the meeting, Sister Skunk asked, “I’ve heard that without ‘Bobby P’ the Force would be adrift. What do you think?” Raven Roshi answered, “There’s no toilet paper in the washrooms”. Skunk said, “goodness you are just full of non sequiturs these days.” The Raven bobbed up and down, and with a giggle said, “You should talk Skunk.”

  7. EFAMIA permalink

    “That said, he does not think the episode has compromised the force’s efforts to create a more respectful workplace.

    “I am not concerned this event will be misunderstood as somehow discordant with the work we have done on harassment,” he wrote in an email.

    “I think if someone takes the time to get to the nuts and bolts of this particular exchange you’d see a passionate exchange about what needs to get fixed in the RCMP.”

    OMG !! After reading the last three sentences I guess one can believe that the Commissioner at least feels that the Mounties have moved on from harassment and bullying. Once you get down to the nuts and bolts of it !! Delusional ??

  8. The Commissionaire came to a Deputy and said, “We haven’t talked much about my leaving. I’m still not sure who will have me? But more so I worry a lot about what happens on the day I leave.” The Deputy was pensive for awhile, then said, “Can I have your credenza?”

  9. Crab was feeding near the shoreline when he unexpectedly encountered Seagull. Seagull inquired, “It seems that you and Dr. Mike have a secret understanding of some kind?” Crab said, “We know the same joke.” “Let me in on it,” demanded Seagull. “IT’S”…… really not that significant”, answered Crab. “Tell me”, asserted Seagull. “Seagull!!” Crab said impatiently, “You aren’t listening!!”

  10. “Orca inquired, “Is trust in the Commisioner of one of the Canadian security triumvirate important for National Security?” Salmon Roshi said, “Indispensible!!” Orca asked, “Can’t that create problems?” Salmon Roshi responded after some deliberation, “Interminable.”


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