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RCMP: You’re In…You’re Out

Jul 19

I’ve started many times writing this blog, only to erase it and start all
over again. I’d be finished and ready to press the send button but then got
too frightened to actually send it. Then I’d think to myself, they got me!
They are able to control my emotions without even trying. How pathetic am I?
I’m disappointed that I’d do this to myself. That I could let myself down
like this. Is this how I want my children to behave when they are treated
wrong, to scurry away?  So I do this for my children.

My story is very similar to many of the other members I know. I joined the
RCMP thinking that I would save a corner of the world. I built a lot of
friendships and had a lot of laughs. I think back at the good times and they
still bring a smile to my face. I’d get emails from members I used to work
with replaying some of the files that we went too and I would be laughing
with tears streaming from my eyes about some of the stuff we used to do.
What we did right, what we did wrong and what we could have done better. You
all know the stories, you have them too.

Then one day I was assaulted at work by a supervisor who was stalking me for
months after he hacked into my computer. He knew my every emotion, how I was
feeling, where I was going, what I was planning to do. I caught him with a
document from my computer and reported it to a supervisor. Management tried
to sweep it under the carpet and turned the tables on me. The once good
child I was had now become a difficult child with behavioral issues.
Management who used to adore me, now despised me. And the friendly emails I
used to receive had now vanished. I found out very quickly who my friends
were and believe me I have very few in the force now. I was the member that
had leprosy. Everyone stares at you but doesn’t talk to you. When you look
at them, they turn away, avoid eye contact or walk in the opposite
direction. Or I’d get that lopsided embarrassed smile.

I remember when I did just that to other members too. Before it happened to
me. I’d hear all the stories and would avoid the members that had issues.
I’d give the lopsided embarrassed smile. And it was so unfair because that’s
what it really was-stories and rumors. No one really knows the true story
except the person going through it. A lot has been said about me and most of
it is untrue and hurtful but what do I expect, I did the same thing to
others. People go along to get along. So I can’t blame them. I will not be
judged by consensus.

I do know this though, when you go through a situation like this you meet
other people with the same experiences. You build new friendships with
people that understand you. I actually have become a better person, the past
is a good teacher. I have enough opponents, I don’t need to be my biggest
one. Mind you, I still get agitated, I still get frustrated, I still burst
out in tears when I think someone is chasing and about to assault me. And I
definitely still get the nightmares. And like many of you I still get the
threats from management but I now understand that threats only come from a
position of weakness.

We all create our realities and this is mine.

Once Favoured

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10 Comments
  1. Hello Once Favoured,

    Yup all too familiar story, people only understand the grief and sorrow when it is them who are attacked. Until that happens everyone stays clear of the targeted person. “Better to stay away then to get caught up in it”. The thinking is “I could be next”. Better to say nothing and go along, that way they will leave me alone. Fear is a very powerful tool.

    I was one of those favoured people as well. I’ve seen it, but didn’t really look into how it affects someone. Now I know and I would not wish this on anyone. Most of us in the RCMP learn the hard way, when the damage is done.

    If I can, I will offer this piece of advice. Document and record when you believe that you are the target of harassment. File a complaint right away. Do your own investigation. Do not trust that the RCMP has your best interest in mind. Obtain your own witness statements. Never, never let them win, If you do, this will never stop.

    Rolly Beaulieu

  2. Anonymous permalink

    Hello Once Favoured and others who have shared the same treatment from our Employer. As I read your lines I could see myself. We all know that this is unfortunately standard operation. You either bow or they will turn on you. Courage to all.

  3. Anonymous permalink

    Hello Once Favoured,
    I am so proud that you decided to press “send” this time. They may have instilled the fear in you for speaking the truth before but not this time. Mark that as a milestone!!! You are making positive changes…the fear, intimidation and bullying must stop! Will it? I believe if more people like yourself begin to speak their minds, tell the truth and not have the fear of what the RCMP will do (which we all know that they are famous for) then that will be the beginning of change.

    Even the force with all their might, hurt, intimidate, make members sick, little do they realize that yes there are other people with similar stories out there that assist each other. I as a spouse of a member that was basically labelled like yourself a “shit disturber” have found the Force has given us new friends, new paths of simplicity. Not mind games. Keeping life simple as it should be. Associating with people that have the same values as us. People that we are happy to spend time with and we aren’t afraid that they will try to stab us in the back for the next promotion or to be part of the “inner circle” of those that all they care about is their job description, status and how much control they have over others. Because really at the end of the day when you really get to know the Officers that have climbed the ladder, isn’t it really all about control.

    Just today I was speaking with someone and was asked what my partner did for a living. I found myself hesitating to answer because of the embarrassment that I felt being associated with the RCMP and all the negative media coverage. I did answer with the truth, but honestly I would have rather said We’re out, rather than in!!

    Hold your head high, as you are showing and teaching your children strength, to tell the truth and to keep life simple to treat our fellow human beings with dignity and respect that we all deserve. The world will then be a better place.

    One day you will no longer have to say “I’m in” but out for good!!!

    REMEMBER THIS, EVERYONE WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO THIS.

    God will not ask what your job title was, but He will ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

    God will not ask what your highest salary was, but He will ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

    God will not ask how many promotions you received, but He will ask how you promoted others.

    God will not ask what you did to help yourself, but He will ask what you did to help others.

    God will not ask what you did to protect your rights, but He will ask what you did to protect the rights of others

    • Anonymous permalink

      Hi Anonymous,

      I absolutely relate to what you have said about feeling embarrassed by your spouse’s association with the RCMP when asked about what they do for a living. I am in the same boat. I feel more than just embarrassment, but also feel a type of disgrace that is so hard to define.

      We worked really hard to get to where we were only to have it thrown to the wolves of the RCMP by a couple of really nasty,controlling and self-serving members of the RCMP. It has affected all areas of our lives and of our children’s lives to a degree I would never have thought possible. I had always thought and taught my kids that as long as you were honest and told the truth then everything would always be OK. Seems the RCMP has made a liar out of me. Everything is not OK.

      Thanks for posting the questions we will all have to answer to one day. I will use them to get through the days when all I do is feel anger, hate, worry and bitterness.

  4. Anonymous permalink

    Once favoured!

    Good on ya for speaking up!!

    Your story is like so many including my own. We all do it for the kids and their futures. I believe that as people like us continue to speak up and take on management that we will reach a critical mass that causes real change. Of course, I can’t say when and I sure can’t say how but that’s what I believe and that’s why I am standing up.

    I have actually had a success or two in standing up for ethical conduct in the Force. Hopefully, the next person won’t have to go through the same as I did. I hope that if everyone pushes them back a bit, eventually they will be pushed back a lot and the Force, and our Country, will be better for it.

    I have the nightmares too, not so bad, but I do.

    I want to disagree with you on one point. You have seen the error of looking sideways at disfavoured members and you’ve repented. Other’s haven’t and so I say blame them, they deserve it. If everyone who ostracized another member regretted it like you do, we wouldn’t have a dysfunctional force.

    I also want to strongly agree with you on another point though, they attack you from weakness, not strength, just as you say.

    Stay strong.

  5. A friend permalink

    Once Favoured

    You are a strong person – you were victimized by your supervisor and then by management. You were let down by someone who should have protected you. It’s heartbreaking to hear what you have been through. You have found courage and you are strong as you have come this far. You are a role model for your children and many others. Know you have friends far and near.

  6. Stewart permalink

    Once Favoured,

    Let’s get this out of the way right off the hop, you are not bad or a problem. You have, as many members are, experiencing being thrust into an unnecessary experience due to a lack of an organizations ability to evolve with the times and become that great organization and upholder of values that are widely claimed to be Canadian. Your good experiences and coworker stories show you use the Core Values of the Force as a measuring stick for what you have experienced and contemplate this in your forward learning.

    You were exposed to an unfortunate situation and handled it as per policy and law by bringing it to the attention of your superiors in the following of the Chain of Command, however a far too common response occurred wherein you became the target of the Chain of Command and received the common responses of isolation, shunning and targeting of malicious rumours and innuendo. This pattern of “Mobbing” as researched widely and pioneered by Heinz Leymann is a result of impotent and severely lacking persons in positions of authority. The reasons for this are many and varied but basically boil down to this will make them look bad and affect their upward mobility in search of satisfying their own rank desires. Without any oversight, these so called leaders are really what creates the drain on taxpayers dollars that senior management so widely claims to be the sole responsibility of members who have been targeted for doing the right thing and following Force Policies and Federal Statutes. Again, the impotent and cowardly blame the target or victim in their attempt to avoid their sworn duties and responsibilities. Members who participate in the mobbing and isolating of targets should know that they are not immune to being the next target in line and are failing in their duties within the the RCMP Act & RCMP Regulations.

    You are a good member and courageous in standing up and expressing your voice, we still have a Charter of Rights that permits that. I have seen first hand, members that have been off work and made efforts over and above what is their responsibility to return to a safe and healthy workplace as guaranteed by Part II of the Canada Labour Code and Part XX of the Canadian Occupational Health and Safety Regulations, again Federal Statutes which the Force is responsible to adhere to and those in positions of authority are to ensure are available to all members. The stumbling block in all cases is ineffective Human Resources, negligent Health Services and those occupying positions of authority without the emotional intelligence to function positively and effectively in this required capacity.

    I applaud your stepping up and stand with you in expressing your voice in working to achieve a respectful and healthy workplace where you and all members can contribute to Canadians everywhere.

    Stewart Robertson
    Chair
    LMD Member’s Support Group
    “Shoulder to Shoulder”

  7. mixer permalink

    I was told I’m doing it to myself… we are allowed to speak out for Joe Citizen but heaven forbid to speak out for yourself or another Member. When we do the wrath of the Scrabbling Ponies try to step over you to show that they are GOOD Supervisors because they can ignore the low life member who is unable to cope with the Game. But then when they get hurt OMG things are different and the special care is given to them. One member once told me we are all a family some drive around in a Limo, but the rest of us drive around in a WHEELBARROW with no wheels. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP we are not to blame. The reason why we fell is because we showed that we CARE TOO MUCH, A supervisor once told me that .. YOUR PROBLEM IS YOU CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT our complainants.. I said that would look Real bad on a Tombstone Here Lays…… he Cared too much…
    Been there done that got the T-shirt 3 more years of this LIFESTYLE then I’m FREE once again.

  8. Bob Perry permalink

    I am saddened by the ongoing mal-treatment of members by the those lacking the basics and capacities of decent human interaction. I am even more saddened to report that these conditions also existed to varying degrees in 1981 onwards – an ill commentary on the Force as an organization.

    Perhaps a grassroots movement can be generated through Re-sergeance to bring relentless enlightenment an clarity to those in power at both organizational and government levels to seed change before the RCMP subjects itself to implosion.

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