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An RCMP Nightmare

Dec 03

Last night, I had a nightmare. I am not a member but I have lived everyday of my life in the R.C.M.P. I have never had a nightmare quite like this before. Not even as a child, when my parent went to work the street. I am relieved it was just a dream but instinctively I know this is a reality many families may relate to.

I am at a Christmas party with my partner. We arrived to a beautifully decorated hall with good food, and many familiar faces. We had been looking forward to this social event, an evening out together to enjoy the joyous, holiday season. I am mingling, engaging in conversation yet, I notice my partner is not. She/he is surveillling the crowd, with noticeable suspicion and distrust. Something isn’t right. My partner is not comfortable being there; she/he can’t quite put their finger on what’s wrong. I recognize we need to leave, and we retreat home to our safe place.

We returned home to discover our home a wreck; an intruder has invaded our safe haven. Our most personal and precious memories and spaces has been interfered with; crushed, ripped apart, and unrecognizable. Neither of us can believe what has happened to our life. Where do we start picking up the pieces?  In the background, I hear our dog barking. I run outside to see a strange, rabid dog threatening our dog. In my panic, I race to rescue our dog from this predator and bring him inside. As I enter the house, I find the front door open, smoke filling the room and my partner missing. Outside in the street are 3 military tanks, and soldiers, and tear gas and shooting. I see my partner unarmed, unprotected, and moving from tank to tank, soldier to soldier desperately trying to talk them down. But to no avail. The riot is too out of control. The soldiers are not listening, there is no order and no identifiable leader. The scene is utterly apocalyptic and appears hopeless. In the midst of this chaos, she/he turns to look back at me with a look of incontrovertible determination to stop the injustice. I see futility, and I drop to my knees in helplessness. Then, I wake.

In my nightmare, lays a current reality. For me, the riot represents the senseless disorganization I see of our national force. The intruders in our home represent the intruding stress on our family and the psychological injury inflicted upon my partner. The mad dog represents the bullies I hear about in the workplace. The chaos in the streets represents the lack of civility and leadership which I need to feel safe in my community. I know I speak on behalf of many families when I say it isn’t easy to watch our national force be more determined to be right, than to be fair to its members. The emotional,  social, and health costs associated to this current reality are immeasurable. Yet, somehow, I still cling to hope. Or hope is clinging to me.

To all members and member’s families, I admire your strength in this time of unfair, senseless uncertainty. Stay strong. This can’t last forever.

Sally Sixpack

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From → RCMP Spouse

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